All my life I’ve struggled with my weight. There’s just always been too much of it. Even when I was young and on the swim team, my coach told my mom that if I would lose 20 pounds I would be way faster and could win more races. I did win a lot though. I had scores of first place ribbons to prove it. Yeah, I probably could have been faster, but I was healthy and having fun. Thankfully my mom never shared this little tidbit with me until I was older.
Last night I got all gussied up to go to a dinner party and when my husband told me I was “smokin’ hot” I dismissed him and complained that my clothes didn’t fit right. Ugh! Why do I do this? Why don’t I just believe him and say “thank you”? I might get more compliments if I responded like that.
So when I got home, my friend Jenny had posted the most amazing blog about this very subject. It’s like God wanted to remind me that beauty is not just what’s on the outside that matters, but the inside as well. And to believe my husband when he tells me I look “smokin’ hot”.
So I wonder where those pesky negative messages come from. You know, the ones in our brains that tell us to blow off our husband’s compliments? I know for me, it goes back to my lifelong struggle with my weight. One thing I was always told by the very well intentioned, was this:
“You have such a pretty face.”
While I get that that is supposed to be a compliment, all I heard was insult. Because beyond that “compliment” was the statement:
“but the rest of you is horrendous. Fat. Worthless. Certainly not beautiful.”
So whatever you do, please, I implore you, never ever ever never ever tell someone just that they have a pretty face. Never. It’s just rude. Even if it is true. Even if that’s really what you want to say because for some reason, their face looks striking that day. The problem is, however well intentioned you are, it completely dismisses who they are as a whole person.
So if you are going to take the time to compliment someone, please tell them that they look pretty or beautiful or smokin’ hot. It goes a lot farther. Trust me.
Because we are all more than just a pretty face. But sometimes we forget. And it’s good to be reminded.